Staring at the clock as each minute ticks by, I get a sense that I probably won’t be able to get my ass up tomorrow morning. On days where I have nothing planned, setting my alarm for noon is pretty early for me. Obviously for school, that’s a different case. I hope I don’t hit snooze tomorrow because I hate waking up in the afternoon. Currently 5:18am right now and my insomnia is going strong…
I am all for trying new things and giving people second chances, but it’s hard when I am already damaged. The more I am hurt in the past, the more insecurities are subconsciously create. It is not like I want them, but I can’t help to feel that way. I am still waiting for that someone to make me feel special enough so I can finally peel off the insecurities and become myself again.
Although we ended things, I can’t help but remain a soft spot for you. Not in the way where I still have feelings, but in a sense where little things that you do…I still find “cute” or “sweet.” Hard to explain, but my feelings for him is detached. I dont exactly know why I still think of you that way, all I know is, it’s there.
I love love love Christmas! Not only is it Jesus’ birthday, it is also a super beautiful, warm holiday. I haven’t met one person who hates Christmas. Also, my name is a christmas plant is thats a bonus! My favourite holiday is almost here and I’m about to eat all the fucking candy canes.
Yo, if I make an effort to talk to you and we in the middle of a conversation…don’t ghost me. Don’t leave me on read. That hurts my heart.
I don’t realize that sometimes being too nice could lead someone to think I have feelings for them. It’s weird because I do consider myself a nice person (most of the time), but sometimes people take it a different way and it’s confusing. How do I deal with that?
After so many times of being hurt and let down, you start to think whether you will ever feel wanted. It’s such a negative thought, but sometimes you can’t help it. There must be something wrong with you if nothing ever turns out right. Other people around you have at least had some sort of luck, but you are always there standing by yourself. People go in and out of your life and it makes you feel so …small. Like you don’t really belong anywhere. The truth is, you are probably gonna wanted by someone at some point, but you can’t help the thought process going through your mind. It’s depressing.