Someone Who Loves You More

My mom has always told me to find someone who loves me more than I love them. According to her that is how I avoid getting hurt. Whether or not that is true, I think it’ll be hard to find someone like that. When I love something or someone, I love hard. Therefore, I usually end up loving more. I wonder if there’s someone out there who’s willing to challenge that.

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Somebody Stop Me

Emotions suck. Catching feelings suck. Relationships suck. Honestly, there are so many negative attachments to emotions that I constantly wonder if it’s worth. I always ask myself “what if” in the most negative perspective when it comes to me catching feelings for someone. Like, what if I get fucked over. Or, what if I get too attached and get fucked over. Basically all ending in getting fucked over. But sometimes, I can’t help it. I end up falling for the wrong guys and it hurts almost all of the time.

VoluminiousĀ 

I have naturally thick hair. In fact, I was born with wavy messy hair but puberty somehow straightened then out. Very weird. I sometimes forget how much hair I have because I recently chopped it off. Although my hair is shorter now, the volume is still there. Thick as fuck just how I like it ( lol jkjk ). But seriously, it takes like 1.5hrs just to blow driw my hair completely. Sometimes I just give up and sleep in towel dried hair. I know, asian myths tell us that sleeping in wet hair will get you sick, but it hasn’t happened to me yet. 

I Get Attached Too Easily

Hi my name is Holly. You’re pretty cool. Wow, you actually kinda care about me. I think I like you…yup, thats my life. Maybe because there were people who fucked me up in the past and our relationships felt very one sided that I become so easily attached to anyone who comes along showing just a grain of care. It’s dangerous because sometimes they actually don’t and I restart the same phase again. I honestly can’t help how I am and how I feel. Real talk, I sometimes…no, most of the time, don’t feel like people like me for me. I have insecurities with friends because I feel that half of my friends don’t really appreciate my existence. However, I would do anything for them. Even the people I love now, I have trouble feeling their side of the relationship. Of course, I got real friends who care but that’s only like 3-4 people. So in a way, I search for love and care from others. I’m the type of person who cares a lot, or so I’ve been told. I get hurt if I feel like I’m not a good friend to someone. But because I care so much, people take me for granted. It fucking sucks. 

My Own Opinion on You

When I meet someone for the first time, I try not to let other people’s judgement affect how I think of that person. I like to have my own opinion because each person has their own experience. Perspectives are always different and sometimes hearing the other side of the story helps. Now that I have gotten close to this “bad” person, I may or may not lose another friend because he doesn’t like my new friend. 

Sometimes You Just Gotta

Honestly, I’m not the type to party a lot, but sometimes I need to let loose. The stress from school and work gets me really frustrated sometimes, so dancing drunk with a bunch of people seems like a good way to release the stress. You just gotta do it sometimes. Anyways, it was a fun night. I met new people and they were all soo sweet. Wouldn’t mind clubbing with them again.