Limits

Today during our last day of training my knee felt really really loose, but I wasn’t in an imense amount of pain so I disregarded it. I did, however, take a break in the morning because my knee felt inflammed. During the afternoon session, my knee felt stronger so I continued. Due to the fact that today was the very last day to train with Taiwan, I wanted to give it my all. Because of how thoughtless I was about my knee, it started to feel loose. I really shouldn’t have continued on training knowing I was in pain. I had to keep in mind that I was in charge of that training group and I am the oldest with the most experience, so I pushed myself past my limit. I was in pain and yet I was stubborn and wanted to continue fighting it. I guess my body was smarter because I immediately lost all feelings on my knee. Limping to the chair in the waiting area, I started tearing up; not because I was in pain, but because I was frustrated. Not only could I not kick properly, I also couldn’t keep my balance. I got scared because the idea that this would happen every time I train intensely made me feel useless. I felt like shit. After calming down for a while, I stood back up and headed to the training mats. I know, I really should’ve rested. Regardless of what others said, I insisted I was fine and continued. Luckily my knee didn’t worsen, but the master limited my movements to protect my knee. Long story short, I was a crazy mess today and my conscience is fucked up. 

PS. Sorry, I didn’t write yesterday because I ptfo when I got back to the hotel 

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Much Needed Rest

Thank god I didn’t have to go to the arena so god damn early today. Unfortunately, I didn’t fully enjoy my “break” as I woke up with a major headache. I probably caught some type of cold, nothing major, but I wasted my entire day sleeping haha. However, there was a mandatory celebratory dinner for all competitors from Hong Kong, Philippine, Malaysia and Canada. The dinner itself wasn’t too bad, but we were provided a mic to speak into and damn, I swear that made my headache even worse. 

And The Results Are…

Competing today at an international competition was really nerve racking, but I did okay. Got one gold and one silver; which doesn’t sound so bad, but I wasn’t happy. It’s not so much because I didn’t get first, or I didn’t beat the girl I competed with when I got gold. I got upset because I wasn’t fully satisfied with how I did. I guess no one really is ever, but I could’ve fixed the problem if I had taped my knee. During the first competition, I was told that I would be disqualified if I were to wear my brace. I was then pushed by my teammates to get it quickly taped since I got another competition right after. However, the taping made my knee immobile, so I ripped it off. I got gold with my unsupported knee, so I thought it would be fine if I continued without the brace. I totally underestimated myself and lost a lot of balance during the second competition. After I competed I walked off and had to give myself a moment. The way I reacted might’ve looked like I was being bratty because I didn’t win, but it was because I regretted not taping my knee. I felt as though I could’ve done so much better, regardless of what placement I got. Eventually ending up with second place wasn’t really that bad. I now know just exactly how much attention I should give my knee. I shouldn’t have risked it. Well either way, it was a good learning experience 🙂

Petty Vs Petty and Bit of Honesty

You can’t be mad at me for being angry. It is not like I directly attacked you. But that doesn’t matter. The post I wrote two days ago was honestly written from anger. But, I don’t really hold grudges so, I’m not mad anymore. If that person is happy then I’m happy for them. But, petty is petty when you rub it in my face about your current relationship. How much do you wanna bet that this person read my blog and decided to hit me with that come back? But it’s honestly fine. I’m at a happy place right now trying to figure myself out, so I’m glad he has someone to be with and is happy with her. I admit I was wrong for being a bit petty as well,so that’s my fault. But if the other person doesn’t realize how shitty it was to find out something like that about someone, he really needs to put himself in my shoes. Although I don’t have feelings for that person anymore, it still hurts to hear that he probably wasn’t honest about how he felt. Kinda hurts to be lied to. 

Too Many Problems

Damn, this Taiwan trip is another level of struggle. Right off the bat, half of our teammates found fleas and ants in their rooms. So they resorted to booking rooms in another hotel nearby, which is much cleaner. Fortunately, I haven’t found any in mine yet, but I am just waiting for the bugs to bite me tonight. We are all currently scattered in the convenient stores trying to find blankets and towels to us for shower and sleep. Hell to the fuck no am I gonna sleep on a mattress full of potention bed bugs. We will not be competing tomorrow, but we gotta go with the rest of the HK team to the arena. Not looking forward to wake up at 6am 😦 

P.S. find me

Last Day in HK 

There are so many things I could write about, but I’m not going to waste my time on people who get back with their exes when they told me they never will (oops I just did 😏). Anyways, today’s my last day in HK and I honestly feel a little depressed. I hung out with someone I basically grew up with. She was my “older sister” for several years. I’m glad I spent my last day with her here before leaving to Taiwan tomorrow. I want to come back to HK when I have time in the future, but maybe during the winter when it’s not so hot. The amount of ass and boob sweat I get here are pretty intense. Also, my friend ANTHONY PHAN wants a shout out so here it is! Happy 7 year anniversary!