I’ve been so busy being happy that I forget to post. It has been a while since I’ve shared anything person, but it’s all for good reasons. I enjoy my new job and everything. But, I always looks forward to the night when I can just get unready and chill with him. Even if it is through a computer screen. Our conversations never bore me. I have just been very happy…for the most part. I still do get anxiety attacks and waves of depression. But, I kind of found another will to keep going now.
I need to stop convincing myself that everything you say is because you are a nice guy and you probably say that to everyone. I have been making up excuses so that I won’t fall for you. But I think I’m running out of excuses for whatever is going on between us. I’m starting to like you…
I should not enjoy talking to you this much. This wasn’t supposed to happen…
Finally someone who understands my tkd situation without questioning my thoughts. Someone who truly understands how political everything is and I’m not just making it up or exaggerating. It’s nice to have someone understand that immediately without doubting your explanation to them. Best feeling 😭
I’ve been mia for the past few weeks because I was in Korea enjoying the best food and nightlife. The vacation was such a good stress reliever, I dreaded coming back home. Unfortunately my grandpa in China was and still is terminally ill so I booked a flight to fly to China right after I landed to Korea. A total of around 24 hours of flying and lay overs but it was worth it. Seeing him one last time was very bittersweet, but I’m glad I did. I flew back to Korea to meet my friends after and I had such a blast with them. The memories will be cherished with me forever.
I feel so weighted down from everything. My chest, my mind, my body, my heart, my legs…everything feels so heavy. The hardest part is pretending to be okay. Having a mask on but in reality, I am just dragging along this “heaviness” with me everywhere I go.
I have been having really detailed dreams lately. They seem to be surrounding a lot of negativity in my life, but not exactly portrayed negatively in my dreams. Some has been about closure with some of the past people in my life. I would wake up feeling either really upset or really…light? I don’t know how to describe the feeling but its like a shitload of anger has been lifted off. The pain may still be there, but I feel more light. I still wake up upset because some memories cause me to travel back to the past…but that’s okay.