Are you worth my care and attention? Are you going to be special to me one day? Sometimes I ask their friends and their words mean something to me. I feel like to truly speak the truth especially since they know the guy since day 1.
It’s weird to catch up with an old friend. Seeing you again brought me back to my childhood and immature days (not like it really changed). I am genuinely surprised how much you didn’t change. Weirdly enough, I feel like I changed the most throughout the years. Maybe it’s just coming from me or something, but I feel like I probably changed for the worse while you changed for the better hahaha. By worse I mean less of a saint and more “out there.” Talking to you for a 30min was definitely not enough to catch up on everything.
I swear to god, I am never gonna fucking sneak someone in my house again. Actually no, sneaking them in was not a problem. Sneaking them out was the issue. Because my whole family was awake I had to find ways to sneak my friend out. Kms seriously. Never been so stressed in my life. 10x worse than university exams. If my parents find out, I’m gonna get disowned for sure.
My mom has always told me to find someone who loves me more than I love them. According to her that is how I avoid getting hurt. Whether or not that is true, I think it’ll be hard to find someone like that. When I love something or someone, I love hard. Therefore, I usually end up loving more. I wonder if there’s someone out there who’s willing to challenge that.
Emotions suck. Catching feelings suck. Relationships suck. Honestly, there are so many negative attachments to emotions that I constantly wonder if it’s worth. I always ask myself “what if” in the most negative perspective when it comes to me catching feelings for someone. Like, what if I get fucked over. Or, what if I get too attached and get fucked over. Basically all ending in getting fucked over. But sometimes, I can’t help it. I end up falling for the wrong guys and it hurts almost all of the time.
I have naturally thick hair. In fact, I was born with wavy messy hair but puberty somehow straightened then out. Very weird. I sometimes forget how much hair I have because I recently chopped it off. Although my hair is shorter now, the volume is still there. Thick as fuck just how I like it ( lol jkjk ). But seriously, it takes like 1.5hrs just to blow driw my hair completely. Sometimes I just give up and sleep in towel dried hair. I know, asian myths tell us that sleeping in wet hair will get you sick, but it hasn’t happened to me yet.
Hi my name is Holly. You’re pretty cool. Wow, you actually kinda care about me. I think I like you…yup, thats my life. Maybe because there were people who fucked me up in the past and our relationships felt very one sided that I become so easily attached to anyone who comes along showing just a grain of care. It’s dangerous because sometimes they actually don’t and I restart the same phase again. I honestly can’t help how I am and how I feel. Real talk, I sometimes…no, most of the time, don’t feel like people like me for me. I have insecurities with friends because I feel that half of my friends don’t really appreciate my existence. However, I would do anything for them. Even the people I love now, I have trouble feeling their side of the relationship. Of course, I got real friends who care but that’s only like 3-4 people. So in a way, I search for love and care from others. I’m the type of person who cares a lot, or so I’ve been told. I get hurt if I feel like I’m not a good friend to someone. But because I care so much, people take me for granted. It fucking sucks.