Do I Deserve Any of This

Sometimes I look back and think to myself, “why did God surround me with such amazing people.” The family and friends I have around me bring happiness and love. Things I have yet to learn how to provide for myself. There’s so much fucked up shit I have done in my life and yet they choose to stick around. Nobody is strapped down and yet they choose to help me through such difficult obstacles in my life. Do I deserve such amazing people.

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Despite the Long Distance

It’s crazy how close I feel to you and how much I relate to you from only seeing you through my computer screen. We connect so well together despite the distance between us. I can’t wait until I see you in August. At night, because of our 3 hour time zone difference, I am left alone since you are fast asleep. Sometimes we talk, but I feel bad that you have to stay up so much later than me. But sometimes, when you do sleep early…I miss you a lot.

Busy Being Happy

I’ve been so busy being happy that I forget to post. It has been a while since I’ve shared anything person, but it’s all for good reasons. I enjoy my new job and everything. But, I always looks forward to the night when I can just get unready and chill with him. Even if it is through a computer screen. Our conversations never bore me. I have just been very happy…for the most part. I still do get anxiety attacks and waves of depression. But, I kind of found another will to keep going now.

Stop Convincing Myself

I need to stop convincing myself that everything you say is because you are a nice guy and you probably say that to everyone. I have been making up excuses so that I won’t fall for you. But I think I’m running out of excuses for whatever is going on between us. I’m starting to like you…

You Understand Me

Finally someone who understands my tkd situation without questioning my thoughts. Someone who truly understands how political everything is and I’m not just making it up or exaggerating. It’s nice to have someone understand that immediately without doubting your explanation to them. Best feeling 😭

Korean Trip 2018

I’ve been mia for the past few weeks because I was in Korea enjoying the best food and nightlife. The vacation was such a good stress reliever, I dreaded coming back home. Unfortunately my grandpa in China was and still is terminally ill so I booked a flight to fly to China right after I landed to Korea. A total of around 24 hours of flying and lay overs but it was worth it. Seeing him one last time was very bittersweet, but I’m glad I did. I flew back to Korea to meet my friends after and I had such a blast with them. The memories will be cherished with me forever.