Who is She?

Someone who is hard on herself for no reason, but does nothing to fix her own problems. Instead, she uses her time to focus on the people she cares about. Because of the type of person she is, the people she cares about eventually takes advantage. She is someone who pours her heart out to anyone who shows remotely any bit of kindness towards her. When she loves, she loves hard. She is someone who is secretly very vulnerable, but doesn’t like to show it. For that sole reason, she doesn’t like to cry in public, but secretly does under the covers at night. She is someone who trusts people too easily because of how optimistic she is about others. Except, she thinks negatively when it involves her own life. She wants to do better, but most of the time she feels like she has no power to control her own life. She is someone who is secretly unhappy, but puts on a face to please others. Someone who isn’t sappy, but secretly enjoys it when anyone else shows it. She’s doesn’t like to think selfishly, but sometimes ends up doing it to protect herself. Due to the fact that she has been hurt so many times, she is trying to learn how to distance herself from toxic people. She is stubborn because she has trust issues. She is sassy because she doesn’t know how else to communicate. She is an extremely emotional person. She gets angry, sad, frustrated, happy, and bubbly very easily. However, even with all that, she is also understanding. She rarely holds grudges and forgives easily. Regardless of her emotional problems, she is grateful to those who were there and are still there for her throughout her struggles. She is someone who holds everything inside, as she also tries to hold everything together. But…she is very close to falling apart.

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Gone…Just Like That…

I don’t understand…I don’t understand how anything works. How can someone just be…gone? One minute, you were texting them and the next they disappear. Someone you used to talk to, someone you used to hang around…they just aren’t physically there anymore. You can’t find them. You can’t talk to them. You can’t touch them. Whether you were close with them or not…it is just hard to understand. How can someone be physically not there anymore? It is like their presence is suddenly taken away. How is that okay? The feelings of anger, frustration, confusion, and pain takes over our bodies. How is that something we should just accept?

Falling Into the Dark

Lately I feel like I’ve been more down and emotional than usual. I have been going to bed really early, although actually sleeping early is another story. Waking up at 3pm has been a more than normal occurance for me. I feel groggy and disgusting everytime I wake up. Even after waking up, I don’t want to get out of bed. I don’t want to go back to when I wasn’t okay again. I was positive I left the 13-14 year old me behind. Hiding it was so exhausting and I don’t want to go through that again…

Poisoning Yourself From Toxic People

Do yourself a favour and keep away from those who hurt you, not once..but all the time. You know they don’t benefit you in any way, and leaving them will not cause you to lose anything. I don’t want to see situations worsen and end up being too late to turn back. Leave those who take advantage of you; emotionally, mentally and physically. It is not healthy. Everything I’m saying, you should already know…you just need to push yourself to do it. Cut them out. Trust me, things will get better…

I Still Care a Lot About You

My soft spot for you remains… Maybe because we are such similar people, that I can actual talk to you all the time. In fact, I could probably spend an entire day with you and never feel bored. I don’t know how you feel, but I still care about you a lot and I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not. It’s not like I have feelings for you anymore, but seriously, I would do anything for you. Okay, maybe not anything, that’s debatable.